Campfire Duty

On a recent backcountry weekend with some good friends, I volunteered for campfire and fireplace duty. I nearly always volunteer for fire-duty because there's 3 things I know about: 1. Fire 2. Firearms  and 3......let's see, 3........?   Ok, there's 2 things I know about....

Anyway, as the campfire developed some of the lads (actually all the lads) expressed skepticism regarding the quantity of wood we were tossing on the fire. Understandable if you're used to paying 8 or 10 bucks for a small bundle of wood at places like White Oak Station, Whole Foods or Spanky's Quick-Mart. But when you're surrounded by an essentially endless and renewable supply of firewood, it only makes sense to take full advantage of the situation.    

Once the base of dry cedar flamed up in the middle of the pit, assisted by Paul's spray bottle of diesel fuel, we started throwing chunks of recently harvested white oak followed by some very nice walnut slabs from Paul's bottomland dead-tree farm. In no time at all we had what was later determined to be an epic river-side campfire fit for the likes of folks like Jeremiah Johnson, Hatchet Jack and Jedidiah Smith.

As the night wore on and the wind died down we ended up with one of the most intense and entertaining campfires I've seen in quite some time. There's something mesmerizing about a good campfire. Kind of like lounging by the ocean and watching as an endless line-up of waves breaks over the shoreline. Campfire flames are similar to ocean waves in that each one is unique and different; kind of like snow flakes and buttholes. Wait a minute, wait a minute: did I just write that. Dad-burn that auto-correct! I meant to write bunt cakes. Oh well...

As you plan your next campfire remember this: there's a difference between making a campfire and building one. For my taste I prefer to go the building route. In the campfire arena you simply "cain't go no better". 

As always, I'll do my best to keep you posted on all important things pertaining to rural life, campfires and stuff like that.

  

Old Sayings

If it's not one thing it's your mother. Money makes fools of men. Don't put off till tomorrow what can be put off indefinitely. 

Ok, the first one is a humorous spin on an old saying I heard from my friend, Maxie. I came up with the adjustment to the third adage about procrastinating, which is a good reminder that not everything needs to get done right now. History has proven over and over that some things are best left undone...period.  

Now don't think I've gone all philosophical or have decided to become a philosophical intellectual (for the record, if you think you're an intellectual you're probably not). I'm no intellectual, but do find myself from time-to-time in a state of curiosity, or, as the self-appointed intellectuals like to say, intellectually curious. 

Intellectually curious; now that's funny! I've never known one person in my life who wasn't intellectually curious. That goes double for our little friends under the age of 9 or 10. I'm guessing the intellectuals came up with "intellectually curious" as an inside attempt to elevate themselves even further above us regular folks. If so, C'MON MAN!

Thankfully, it takes all kinds to make things work. If everyone was self-aware, there wouldn't be much left to do for most entertainment industry celebrities. Not that I have anything against the entertainment industry. If not for those folks, the divorce industry would have to completely restructure.

C'MON MAN; that's enough poking fun at Hollywood and the super-smart. Let's get back to focussing on barns, creeks and the great outdoors. You just can't go no better. I'll keep you posted...

 

 

Sitting in the Woods

Put a comfortable chair in a public place and it won't set empty for long, providing there are any men around. Put a chair or six on a cabin deck in the middle of the woods and they'll set empty until some guys come around who are intent on sitting.

It's kind of funny when you think about it; sitting. I don't recall ever going to a friend's house for a visit and have them say, "Hey come on in and have a stand; I'll put on a pot of coffee!"

No, we definitely have a proclivity toward sitting. Sitting is one of the handful of things nearly all adults are good at. I guess it's because we spend so little time sitting during the first part of our lives that it takes the last half or so to catch up. 

Ever suggest to a friend that they come on in and have a seat only to have them respond with something like, "That's OK, I'll stand...I've been sitting all day." I've heard that a number of times and have always thought it sounded funny. Even if you've spent most of the day sitting it doesn't take a lot of standing before you're ready to sit down again. I guess that's one of the primary reasons we were designed to bend at the waist. Otherwise, the only option to standing would be lying down...which would often times be inconvenient if not down right awkward. That too is something to think about.

Thanks for tuning in and catching up on the latest information available on sitting in the woods. If the fine folks at Harvard or Cal Berkeley conduct any new studies on sitting and/or standing, you'll hear it here first. Why these ivy league educators insist on contacting me first when they have new information to report remains a mystery. Maybe I should check in with  "Nick Nick-Nick-Nick" and see if he has any ideas on this subject.

 

Have a great day, evening, weekend, vacation, or flight and I'll do my very best to keep you posted.

Post Post: I just realized I've never been very good at sitting. That's somewhat ironic.

Oh, and if you stumbled across this site in a drunken stopper while trying to find a good deal on a new pair of snow shoes, my friends and I are glad you're here!  

   

Outside In

The great outdoors? You cain't go no better! 

It's the author's intention to spend even more time outdoors this year than I spent out doors last year. That won't be easy considering I was "in the woods" most of last year.

 Once it became evident that covid wasn't going away any time soon, I decided to work our County Barry (Barry County if you don't speak Irish) property like it was my full-time job! Turned out I got a lot accomplished and had an enjoyable time doing it. 

I suppose about 10 or 12 of our 87 acres is open and I spent at least a few weeks brush-hogging, mulching, mowing, hacking, hauling and dumping weeds and brush in an effort to get it all to a point that it could be maintained with a mower. Got that done. I also spent significant time and energy "de-rocking" around the cabin and barn. In the process of that I discovered that the Armadillo is a prolific uprooter of rocks. About the time I'd get an area mostly rock-free I'd wake up the next day to discover that over night these diplopods (I keyed "dillopods" which was a made-up word and it autocorrected to diplopods, which is apparently an actual class of critter...I like the sounds of it even though I suspect it's not the correct term from a taxonomy standpoint) had uprooted about as many rocks as I'd picked up the previous day. Dang: that's frustrating but I suppose they're just doing their job. 

The barn/shop also got substantially rearranged and organized, although that's more of an inside job than outside. I cleared a lot of brush, cut down a few dead trees, processed a fair amount of firewood and so on and so forth. 

One thing I've become better at as I move ever closer to the golden years era is taking time to enjoy my surroundings. As a result I've seen some cool sites and sounds that are easy to overlook unless you're intentional about it. If you spend most of your life in front of a screen you miss alot of stuff. Had I been face-first in a device this past late summer I wouldn't have seen my first Missouri black bear wondering around in back of the cabin (I have probably already shared that in a previous post). Now that was completely unexpected but very awesome!

Maybe I'll report more on this subject as time moves along. Since this isn't set up for comments and likes or dislikes, I'm not really sure how many folks are reading my postings. That's OK though since my goal isn't followers, rather, sharing everyday life experiences with the few who might be interested. If that's you, thanks for taking time to read this stuff and I'll keep you posted:)

Disposable Lantern

No matter what age a person is you'll hear them say things like, "Well back when I was growing up..." followed by something that in their view has changed since "they were growing up".  

Well, when I was growing up you could buy a Coleman lantern that, properly cared for, might last nearly a lifetime.  Today, a coleman lantern like the one in this picture has a shelf-life.  If properly cared for you'd be lucky if it last 150 hours of burn time.  No doubt the fine folks at Coleman (and there are some fine folks at Coleman--I've known a few) would take exception to that. However, based on my many years of lantern-experience, they just don't make 'em like they used to.

I suppose that in my lifetime I have owned and operated somewhere in the vicinity of 18 or 20 of these disposable propane lanterns and don't recall even one that's stood the test of time. It's just one country boy's opinion but seems to me a lantern ought to last 50 years or better.

When I was a kid growing up we had a Coleman stove, lantern and camp heater purchased no doubt from Sears and Roebuck, where our Mom worked and received a 10% discount. Most of our store bought stuff came from Sears and camping gear was no different. One exception was a heavy sleeping bag that was procured from Montgomery Ward. I have always assumed that it too came from Sears. Upon closer examination a while back, however, I discovered Montgomery Ward must have had one heck of a sale on sleeping bags sometime in the early spring of 1970 or '71. That's the only reason I can think of that my folks would have bought one of our family sleeping bags from Wards. Dang; that sounds funny to say "Wards". I bet I haven't said Wards in 40 years, at least not in reference to shopping there. As I recollect, Pennys wasn't much into the camping gear bidness when I was growing up. I suspect that was a missed opportunity and one the Penny folks would like to have back. Could have made a difference:)

Anyway, I'm getting tired of throwing these darn lanterns away shortly after they get broken in. They do make decent bird nest holders and that's a consolation. The good people in California would be so proud of me for repurposing these lanterns instead of disposing of them properly aka: pitch them in the trash. No doubt lanterns are known to cause cancer in the state of California so be sure and handle your non-functioning lanterns with care. 

Considering the camping industry is capable of making a sleeping bag that last 50 years they could surely make a lantern that'd last at least that long. I may need to contact Klietus or Nickadimus to do some lantern research and see if there's something better out there. Maybe Coleman still makes a high quality lantern that's just hard to find. I have checked Walmart, Cabellas and even "Amazoneverything" to no avail. But, like anyone who's ever misplaced their car keys, I'll keep looking. Maybe I should give Academy a shot.

"He wanted a .50 caliber: it was only a .30 but daaang...it was a gin-u-ine Coleman...I mean Hawken!" In any event, I'll keep you posted on most things Coleman and some things California.

Post Script: A Barry County, Missouri shout-out to Ain't Dee who turns 14+ in the morrow. Happy Birthday Ain't Dee Dee:)

 

Coyote Unaware

 

A few weeks ago while in the woods chopping down a raggedy old tree with my Gransfors Bruks large felling axe (you cain't go no better) I took a short break just down the hill from the chopping location.  I'd been sitting for maybe two minutes when I caught movement off to my right. It turned out to be a extra-large coyote not more than 40 or 50 feet away from where I was sitting. He was eating a critter he'd no doubt just caught and seemed completely unaware of my presence. When he'd finished breakfast he turned and sauntered directly away from me over the crest of the hill down toward the creek. 

As he wondered out of site I conjured up the best and loudest squirrel call I could muster using only my mouth.  He immediately turned and ran straight at me through the thick brush and stopped suddenly about 10 yards from where I sat. He stared right at me for no more than a second as he quickly realized I wasn't a squirrel. He spun and tore off as fast as he could go directly away from me.

This was probably as fine a coyote as I've seen in my life. He was about the size of a full grown Collie and looked like he'd recently been to the groomer at Petsmart. I chose not to whack this healthy rabbit/squirrel killing machine which was timely considering I didn't have a gun; a rare woods-occurrence for me. The Dog Soldier, Steve Criner, would not be pleased to hear I let this "dog" run off without at least throwing my axe at him. I'll try to do better next time, Steve.

In any event I'll do my best to keep you posted on coyote sightings, axe throwing and general goings-on in Southwest Barry County (SWBC). 

 "They say he wanted to be a mountain man...."

If you enjoy the outdoors and have ever dreamed of being a mountain man or a mountain woman (I've never heard anything about a mountain woman from those long ago times, but a lot of folks today like to say a woman can do anything a man can do so I guess that would include being a mountain man) you should watch the movie, Jeremiah Johnson. 

I saw the movie for the first time when it was newly released in 1972. Shortly after seeing the movie, my good friends Mike and Steve and I built a log cabin in the woods behind our house, down by the creek. Fast forward 31 years and I did it again. Dang, that might constitute a log cabin trend, although a very slow-developing one.  At this rate I'll need to build another one in 2034 to maintain the momentum.  On second thought, maybe I'll just get some popcorn and coke and settle in on this cold winter's night to watch Jeremiah Johnson for perhaps the 35th time or so.  

Jeremiah Johnson; You cain't go no better:) And for the record, Del Gue claimed he could, "...drag out, throw down and whip any man in Ol Kentuck!  After summarizing my nearly life-long research on the subject, I suspect maybe he could have.

Regarding mountain man news, I'll keep you posted (there's bound to be new mountain man news at some point).