He Scores!

A few years ago I was on our annual duck hunting trip just outside Stuttgart, Arkansas with a group of friends that included the guy you see in this picture--my great friend Tony.
Tony decided to hit the hay a little early this particular evening and as I'm prone to do, decided to mess with him a little bit. It's always enjoyable to have harmless fun at the other guy's expense-especially if it's a good friend with a sense of humor.
Once I was sure my good buddy was asleep (very few men are capable of snoring at this level while awake), I quietly brought a log in from outside the cabin, and very gently slipped it into bed next to my buddy. I kept thinking he'd wake up right away, but he went right on sawing logs like there was no tomorrow, apparently oblivious to the fact that he no longer had the bed all to himself.

After watching Tony and the log for quite some time and laughing ourselves to tears, the other guys and I eventually tired of the shenanigan and went to bed ourselves.
I lay there in the cabin darkness snickering to myself, wishing I could see the look on his face when he finally awoke to discover that not only was he the center of a redneck practical joke, but that he also had spent the first part of his first night at duck camp sleeping with a pretty good size chunk of wood in his bed.

Well, it took a while but eventually he rolled over, bounced around a little and muttered, "What the hell?" There was a brief pause before he turned on his flashlight in an obvious attempt to find out what the snot had made it's way into his bed. A second or two after his light came on, I heard the line I knew was eventually coming; "You dirty Rat B******!" That's when I knew the little gag had been well worth the effort. You see, in the rapscallion world of Tom-foolery, to get called "Rat B******" by my good friend Tony, is like listening to a championship basketball game over the radio and hearing the announcer scream out, "He drives, he shoots, HE SCORES!".