Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Tree Strategy


Unfortunately, about the only way I know for sure how to tell whether or not a big Ol' oak tree is hollow, is to cut it down and take a look at the inside (yes, I know).
For the past 22 years, we've had a huge red oak hanging over the north end of our home that was big enough to literally take out half the house if it fell, and it seemed to be getting a little bigger with each passing year (kind of like a lot of us). It was leaning far enough south that it could only fall one way, which would have been directly in the center of our home. It also appeared to be in it's declining years and looked like it was in the process of getting hollowed out by those pesky boring beetles (the insects, not the guys who sang Hey Jude). So, after a few years of hunkering down and puckering up every time the wind blew hard, I decided to play it safe and have it taken out. Turned out, it was perfect on the inside; dang-it!
I felt bad for having cut down such a stately and aged oak tree that may have had many more years of life left in it, but you can rarely go wrong when playing it safe; especially if you're trying to avoid having your head pounded down through your butt by an oak tree that weighs somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-12 tons.

The 90 year old tree I'm talking about was about 36 inches in diameter at the base of the tree. One small section of it is shown in the above picture under the round I was in the process of splitting, which by the way came out of another oak I also had taken out by Chino and his tree crew. The other tree wasn't in danger of falling, but it was an ugly tree that in my opinion was not providing any useful service, other than dumping mass quantities of assorted oak droppings all over our yard every time the wind blew and sometimes when it didn't. Red oak trees are nice to have in your yard about 6 weeks out of the year. The rest of the time, they're a major nuisance and the primary cause of the vast majority of my cussing.

On a positive note, we now have a boat load of some of the best red oak firewood I've ever seen in my life (including the wood Dad used to saw with his big Ol' yellow chain saw back when Mom and Dad were raising my brothers and I on the family farm a few miles east of Rolla: before they sold the farm, which is another story). After the wood drys out for the appropriate length of time, or as the Old Timers might say, "cures", it will make some very fine fuel for an assortment of indoor and outdoor venues, including fuel for the side smoker box on our new Oklahoma Joe's smoker grill, that sits on the back deck of the cabin....which brings me to my point: if it's been a while since you've grilled on an actual charcoal grill versus a propane grill, you've likely forgotten just how much better a hamburger,  chicken breast, or just about anything you might choose to grill, taste when grilled over charcoal briquets: it's substantial. And if you really want a treat, throw a little red oak or hickory wood/chips onto the coals and close the grill lid for a while. Trust me, the result might best be described by former Sherriff Andy Taylor, who would have said to his good friend and cousin Barney Fife: "Mm-Mm-Mm Barn, that's goooooood: that's a miiiiighty fine hamburger---mighty fine!"

PS. You don't necessarily have to go to Walton-Mart and spend 7 or 8 of your hard earned dollars on a bag of oak or hickory chips in order to spice up your next grilling adventure. Just walk out into your yard, or for that matter, your neighbors yard if they're away on vacation, and choose from the wide assortment of oak limbs and twigs that are either on the tree waiting to fall off, or that did fall off last night while you were tucked snugly into your bed dreaming of one day owning your very own Gransfors Bruks hand forged large splitting maul. Trust me; that'll do the trick!

On related matters, occurrences and uprisings....I'll keep you posted.

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