Conspiracy Theory

When I was in the 3rd grade, rumors circulated around school that one of our 3rd grade teachers, Miss Komaroff, was a Russian spy. It made good sense at the time, considering that, in 1968, we were in the throes of a cold war with her home country and Miss Komaroff was, in fact, the only Russian speaking teacher in our entire school. Given that her class was all the way down at the end of the hall and around the corner from both Mrs. Shackleford and Miss VanBibber's 3rd grade classes, was, of course, further proof that she must in fact be up to something. What other possible reason could Principal Roberts have had for putting the only Russian teacher in our school in the classroom that was located, not only right next to the library (we were also suspicious of the Dewey Decimal System), but so doggone close to the principal's office as well: he too must have suspected something wasn't right.

Anyway, for the past 47 years, I've been trying like heck to solve the mystery of who started that rumor. For a while, I considered that it might have been Harvey Moreland, but gave up on that theory once I remembered that Harvey was the school champion in both the standing broad jump and in paper wad making. I decided there was no way that anyone who spent that much time handcrafting paper wads and practicing their jumping, could possibly have had enough time left over for rumor starting. But, as fate would have it, a break in the case recently surfaced, and when I was least expecting it.

In a recent conversation, the man in this picture, my long time friend "Randell", said something that suggested he might in fact have been the young lad who initiated what, over time, would become the most storied rumor in Wyman Elementary School history. Of course, he didn't just come right out and say it; it was more of an inference. There was something suspicious, if not outright sinister, in the way he said "Kom-roff" that tipped his hand. There was a slight air of contempt in the way he said her name, and it was the same air of contempt he had in his voice the summer day before 8th grade, when he informed all the Rolla Boys that Mr. Swiss had raised the price of their milk shakes by 10 cents.  

Anyway, if not for the fact that nearly a half century has passed since myself and several other Wyman school boys (and knowing what we know now, probably at least 7% of the girls) spent so much time keeping one eye on Gretchen Finley, while keeping the other eye on Miss Komaroff, I probably wouldn't be sharing this information even now, but after some light research (sorry Klietus, I know that's your area of expertise), I found out that the statute of limitations on Missouri school yard shenanigans, is actually your 14th birthday (17 in Arkansas and Mississippi). Since Randy and I both blew by that long ago, I thought it would be safe to share with the world, the details of the "Miss Komaroff Spy Conspiracy Theory". Randell, I hope you understand buddy; I'm not sayin'....I'm just sayin'.

Should any further details surface on the Kamaroff case, I'll of course keep you posted. But for now, we'll just considered this one....case closed.  

Bible Picking and Choosing

I don't often write about serious matters on this site and have intentionally stayed away from political and social issues for the most part. I'm just one person and my view on any subject matter that I'm less than expert on (which would be most) is no more valid or important than Elmer Fudd's personal view of the world. That said, here goes:

If a person who believes that the Bible is the sovereign word of God but decides to pick and choose which parts they believe and which parts they don't, they might be well served to closely consider where they actually stand on matters relating to the soul.

If I find myself "picking and choosing" on topics relating to the Bible, I'm faced with the potential life-altering decision of questioning the authenticity of the very doctrine on which I say my faith is based. When we do that, the basis for our faith goes out the window, considering that Christianity is in fact based exclusively and entirely on the belief that every word in the Bible is "God-breathed", NIV/"inspired by God", NLT  i.e. II Timothy 3:16.  Put another way, each and every word comes directly from God Himself via the various guys who wrote down His words.

The subject of Bible picking and choosing brings to mind the following questions:

1)  Why does a person continue following a faith that is based solely on a doctrine they believe to be at least somewhat flawed?

2)  Why are so many of us who identify spiritually as Christian excessively judgmental about certain behaviors deemed by God's word as sinful, while turning our heads to our own sinful behaviors?  After-all, the doctrine we say we believe in clearly states that sin is sin and we're saved by God's Grace: Not of our own efforts or behaviors.

I'm going to spend some additional time thinking about this critical soul-matter. I won't likely keep you posted on this subject (there are however a plethora of people who can).  For some reason, I just felt compelled this morning to attempt a thought provoking post that every human being has in common: a soul.

Do you believe the Bible is authentic or do you believe it is something less than that?  I will of course try to keep you posted on substantially less critical topics....



    

1 Million Goal

The man you see here is one of the very few human beings who's ever driven my Chevy Tahoe. Aside from my son, son-in-law, my smoking-hot bride, and of course, the Dunning Boys (before Henry became a teenager and while George was still in his 10's), your's truly has put nearly all of the 275,000 plus miles on this well traveled machine. To have a realistic chance of reaching my goal of becoming the first American to put 1 million miles on a Tahoe, I may need to consider loaning it out to friends (from time to time) who are planning cross country driving trips. Now that I think about that might disqualify me for the highly coveted title of "First". We Americans take great pride in being first and in just about any category you can think of (somewhere, some American probably has a trophy for being the first American ever to load a PEZ dispenser with alternating flavors of cherry, orange, and grape).

I'm guessing we've all been first at something at least one time in our lives. Ol' Victor has now become first in one more category (with a PG13 rating) that he can add to his long list of first: the first person to show up on this site driving my old Tahoe! Wait a minute, wait a minute: now that I've thought that through, the Dunning boys may have been previously recognized on Old and Ridiculous for being the youngest human beings to ever drive my dog hauling rig, back when it registered well under 200,000 miles. I'll have to check in with Klietus and see if he recalls anything of that nature. I'll let you know what I find out and will of course try to keep you posted as things heat up....

Mother's Day 2016

I took this picture last week outside Steamboat Springs and wanted to send it out as an early 2016 Mother's Day appreciation for all the mom's who may have accidentally stumbled on this site. I considered picking the purple flowers and sending each of you a petal or two, but the shipping and handling charges were cost prohibitive. I hope you'll understand!

As an update on the barn, I've made no headway in months. Should that change, I'll of course keep you posted....

Oyster Nightmare

This is an oyster lover's worst nightmare. (It is also an oyster's worst nightmare.)

On this and other oyster related issues, I'll keep you posted...

River Ives

~Rolla Boys Randy, Victor and "Old and Ridiculous" in Steamboat Springs, Colorado 

Once the Huckberry folks see this, they'll probably want to do a feature article on the 3 guys in the picture. But who cold blame them: those are 3 pretty darn sexy old dudes, if I say so myself! Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For now, we should just agree that there are 3 late middle aged gentlemen standing on a bridge that spans across a river the author can't remember the name of. Pooney comes to mind, but then again, it might be the Jack's Fork or the Burl Ives. Now that I think about it, I'm not aware that Burl ever had a River named after him. "The Burl Ives River" has a nice ring to it: a very nice ring indeed. If any of the Rolla Boys runs completely out of things to do, I'm going to suggest he work on getting a River named after our late friend Burl. I know he had that one Christmas special, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, and that's certainly nothing to sneeze at, as he played a major role. But a river would be much more fitting for the only man I can think of who was ever named Burl. I wonder if Burl had a brother named Hunk or Large? I'll have to track down Kleitus and ask if he'd be willing to do some research on that and get back with us. I hate to keep readers in a lurch when it comes to important issues. Lurch: now that would have been a good name for one of the Ives brothers...Lurch Ives. Upon further consideration, Bill might have been a better choice.

I'll keep you posted should I hear back from Klietus.

Steamboat Behavior

The guy to my right/your left, who looks like Michael Douglas but sports a wardrobe more like Louis Vuitton, is my long-time friend, Randy, whom I've known since we were 8 years old.  Randy achieved hometown fame for a number of reasons, some of which are still classified.

The lad to your right is my good friend Victor, who I've known since 8th grade. Victor is a guy who acquired Rolla Fame for running through brick walls and not stopping until the ref screamed, "Come on son the game was over 30 minutes ago!"

Initially, Randy became famous at Wyman Elementary for being the second biggest kid in the entire school, while still in the 2nd grade. That may be a little bit of a stretch, but he was the only kid in Miss McCutcheon's 4th grade class who had to shave at least every other day to stay within the boundaries of the Wyman "No Beard Rule" and that's no lie (ok, maybe that too is a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get the gist).

Several Rolla Boys spent the entire second half of the 6th grade running around during recess trying to avoid Randy's round house kicks. That occurred after Randy saw the movie "Billy Jack" and quickly became a 12 year old version of the man, known at that time, as the world's best all-around kicker. Among many other talents, Randy became darn good at kicking and some of us still have bruises to prove it!

Victor showed up from Springfield, Mo in the summer of 1973 and quickly became one of the best running backs Rolla Junior High had ever known. Although he went on to a stellar high school and college football career, he is perhaps best known for being Marie's son-in-law. He also became Rolla Famous at the age of 15 for being the absolute best at sneaking his mom's car out of the garage while she was trustingly asleep directly above it and with her bedroom window open. He was so good at this (and I might add brazen) that he once showed up at the home of a well known Missouri State Highway Patrolman's house to take 1 of his 4 daughter's out for an evening of illegal Phelps County cruising. His backup plan, in the event this career highwayman asked to see his license, was..."I forgot my wallet", which is just further proof of my longtime friend's teenage brilliance!

Anyway, we had a great time in Colorado and managed to save "Michigan-John" from becoming known as perhaps the worst decision maker in the recent history of Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Which brings me to my point:

Dear men,

If your wife passes out while on vacation and eating at Double Z's BBQ in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, don't assume "she'll be fine if we can just get her to the car": that is not a good plan of action.

Sincerely,
The Rolla Boys

I'll keep do my best to keep you posted on travel matters and such as that....  

Blackberries

Whle mowing last weekend at the rock and squirrel ranch, I ran across a big patch of these right in front of the cabin. I've never noticed them in that particular area before, but as I looked around, they're everywhere! I'm guessing the early crop may have something to do with all the rain we've had the past number of weeks, but that's a guess: I'm not a blackberry expert, which I know Klietus may have a difficult time believing. Usually, the blackberries around here aren't ready for picking until the first part of July. Or, maybe I heard that somewhere along the way and just assumed the gal who wrote it knew what she was talking about. That information could have came from a guy, but since the guys already get more than enough credit in the "misinformation category", I thought I'd spread the wealth a little bit this morning. In any event, I'll have to check with "Almost Uncle Tom" and see what he thinks. I wonder if he'll be doing any black or blueberry picking this year on his Missouri river-bottom farm, or will he just leave that to the bluejays? That's a small sampling of the type things I wonder about.

Of late, I've done a poor job of keeping you posted, and will try to adjust that part of my behavior. Expect a Rocky Mountain Recap later today regarding a recent trip to Steamboat Springs with Victor and Ran'dell: two great old buddies from our days growing up in Rolla. Laughter seems to follow me around as it is, but I think I darn near busted a gut a few times while hanging out with those two Goomers and sharing new and old war stories, along with other ridiculous behavior. What a couple of originals they are!