The Barn Depot

The temperature sat very comfortably around 72 degrees as the sun made it's way through the trees and just inside the doorway to the barn (I know the above picture doesn't quite fit that description, but I'm working with what I have available). I had finally gotten around to once and for all organizing it's contents, which included things like hand tools, power tools and long handled tools; screws, bolts, nuts and fasteners; rope, string and twine; boards of all shapes and sizes; stain, paint and related supplies; ladders; chainsaws; camping equipment, and assorted other paraphernalia related to the aforementioned categories. It's amazing what a person can accumulate when they put a few walls around what had previously been a wide open space.

A barn is basically an oversized closet for men; if there's available space in a barn or garage, a man will find something to put there-much like a woman with an empty dresser drawer or shelf in a closet. If you don't have something to put there when the space becomes available, it's just a matter of time before you'll go buy something to put there. Space, by it's very nature, requires filling whether it's in a barn, a closet, or a drawer.

Although my initial intention was to build a barn to hold stuff I already had, I inadvertently wound up filling it up with stuff I had to buy. I bought a lot of the stuff at places like Lowe's and Home Depot. Building supply companies must love guys who build barns. Not only do barn builders buy tons of stuff to put in the barn once it's built, they first have to buy all the stuff it takes to build the barn, and most of that stuff comes from places like Home Depot (I know technically it's "The Home Depot", but it sounds stupid when you say it that way e.g.: I'll be back after while-I'm going down to "The Home Depot"...no one says that). When the barn's finally built, the owner spends the rest of their life acquiring stuff to put in it. It's like building a swimming pool, only it cost more and you can't swim in it.

Now that I think about it, I bet when a guy walks into a Home Depot and announces, "I've decided to build a barn", you instantly become their new favorite customer. After you leave, the manager probably breaks out several bottles of champaign, calls all the employees together, and does a rousing rendition of the company cheer--"GIMME AN H...H, GIMME AN O...O" etc.. The celebration is probably much the same as it would be if all the store employees had pooled their money and bought the winning mega-millions lottery ticket. And if the manager isn't through having or producing babies, they may even decide to name their next born child after you. If they don't, they should. After all, someone building a barn must be to a Home Depot store manager, what a hundred new Walmart Super Centers are to the owner of a Chinese spatula and toilet bowel brush factory!
I must apologize; I started out to write about the nice time I had yesterday working in my barn. It really was a nice day, about 72 degrees and the sun was shining.