At The End Of The Rainbow

In getting back to you regarding last weeks mushroom recon at the cabin, I'm sad to report we saw no sign what-so-ever of any morel mushrooms. I'm beginning to think it's all just a bunch of Missouri folklore--like the catfish below Bagnell Dam that are big enough to swallow a full sized man. I must admit, however, that Max and I didn't spend a lot of time looking for them. It was hot and dry and probably not the best time for a couple of individuals as hot natured as Max and myself to be traipsing around the woods. 

According to reports coming in from Moniteau and Cole County, Missouri (or County Moniteau and County Cole, as my Irish relation would say) the "shrooms" are just about everywhere. Mom tells me  they're of nearly record breaking proportions! She said my "Almost Uncle Tom" has been tripping around his Missouri River Bottom farm in rural Osage County, hunting down the darn things and based on what her little sister Dee Dee's been telling her, he's going to have to buy another new truck just to haul the darn things around. Also, Aunt Dee Dee may have to quit her job of accessing everyone's property way too high so she can focus her full-time energies on frying up all those mushrooms. Between the mushrooms Tom keeps finding and all the record breaking flat head catfish cousin Dustin keeps hauling out of the Moreau River (a sub basin of the Missouri River), someone's going to have to open up a doggone restaurant just to keep all the wild harvested stuff from going bad. If they do, I think they should consider calling it "The Wild Missouri" or "The Missouri Outback". I'm confident my Great-Great-Great-Great Grandpa Johannes "Old John" Rohrbach would have been proud!

Last night Klietus and I took a late evening trip to the cabin to see how the oak trees are coming along. The darn things grow so slow, you can barely see a difference from one day to the next. They are back in bloom though and spreading their pollen like it's going out of style. We discovered an old walnut tree just down the hill and east of the cabin that's substantially on the downhill slide. We made plans to harvest it before it deteriorates beyond use. I probably wouldn't consider cutting down a good walnut tree if it was still healthy, but this one is in rough shape. We'll actually be doing the trees around it a favor by opening up a little more breathing room. While Klietus is making plans to convert the walnut wood into something useful, I'll try to keep you posted on the tree caper as it develops.

I almost forgot: as we drove up our country drive and the cabin came into view, we were pleasantly surprised to see a double rainbow that from our angle appeared to terminate nearly right on top the cabin! We quickly got our hopes up of finally finding that darn pot of gold we'd been hearing about since the 1st grade. But, as our rural luck would have it, we sped around the corner only to find ourselves somewhat disappointed to discover the end was actually way up over the top of the far hill. We discussed our various options, but decided neither of us actually had the energy to climb all the way up and down those hills in search of the gold. Even if we would have found it we would've just had to haul it all the way back to the truck. And when you take into account that the spot price of gold seems to be stuck around $1297 an ounce (as of the time of this post), Kleit offered it would make more sense to wait for the price to at least get back up over $1300. With that in mind, we just sipped a couple of cold beers on the cabin deck and decided we'd probably be better off to go into the Whiskey making business instead of gold mining. We hear all you need is a bag of corn, a little sugar and an old oak barrel and you're on your way. Klietus actually did a little research not long ago (which I thought showed awfully good initiative on his part) and found out that of the 50 states, Missouri has the most accommodative liquor laws. According to Kliet, it's perfectly legal and acceptable to the Missouri authorities for a person to brew up to 100 gallons of spirits per person per year as long as it's for personal consumption and not for sale (I'll have to get busy because I don't think I'm quite ready for that much personal consumption-Kiet said he'd be willing to give it a shot, but couldn't promise anything). It would actually be more convenient to start up our distilling operation in Arkansas, but all things considered, we decided to make Missouri our "World Headquarters". Also, because Kliet had shown so much initiative in his research program, I officially appointed him "Head Brewmaster" of "The Micro Batch Spirit Co.". He seemed pretty enthused about his new responsibilities and I think he'll do just fine. It may turn out that we found that doggone pot of gold after-all!

~Max roots under the rainbow

~About 7 p.m. April 28, 2014...County Barry, Missouri