Step 3-How to get fatter than you ever thought possible!

This is the third installment in the series, "How to get fatter than you ever thought possible"! If you've made it this far, it's probably safe to assume you've consulted with your doctor before moving onto step 3. Congratulations for making it through steps 1 and 2!

Step 3:
The next time you go shopping at Walmart, park as close to the store as humanly possible. Avoid the temptation of parking way out by the road. Your goal of putting on several additional pounds, is going to be much more difficult to accomplish if you insist on parking so far away from the stores entrance. Not parking close to the store puts you in the undesirable position of having to walk across the parking lot and that simply goes against the rules of this multi-step wait gain program. Remember, walking burns calories and the only way you can offset the affect of losing calories is by exerting less and eating more. Those far out parking spots are there for a reason and that reason is this; so skinny folks won't be tempted to park in the handicapped parking spots.
Come on, I know you can do it and it's not that difficult. It just takes focus. And if all the close parking spots are taken when you first get to the store, be patient and wait. Sitting around in you car waiting for a close up parking spot is a great way to avoid burning those excess calories. Also, the time you spend waiting in your car is a great time to pork down a few more of those delicious moon pies. And don't worry about running out--the moon pie folks can always make more, trust me!